The Sex Diary of a
Vol. 5 Chapter VI
My uncle's in the North. • Cousin Hannah. • Mop-sticks. • The peep in the hayfield. • At a ball. • The drive next day. • After dinner. • The drawing-room sofa. • A tale told. • Solitude, twilight, and opportunity. • Consequences. • Fear of detection. • Cunning devices. • Hannah's bed room. • Aunt returns. • A night's pleasure. • Morning regrets. • At breakfast. • Against the wall. • Bates, the maid. • Gesticulations and indications. • Hannah's dream. • Nearly caught.
Although I went with women promiscuously, it was only with those of a high class; but variety seemed every thing to me. Every pretty gay woman attracted me, and I had an intense curiosity to see their cunts, more it seems to me than to possess them; tho I don't recollect many whom my prick did not enter after my eyesight had been gratified. It is surprizing to myself how for a time I recollected this great variety of cunt; for I saw five or six fresh ones a week, and one week I had ten. It was one in the afternoon before dinner, and the second after dinner, when I had two.
Then I went on a visit to one of my uncles in the North. He had married a prudish sort of woman, and they lived on their fortune and on their estate which was mainly hers. — He let his farms reserving the game, and I went to see him usually once a year, and generally when game was to be shot. I had only to write to say I was coming, for my aunt liked me tho she said I was wild, "But who would wonder at it." They had children, all of whom were married but one girl, Letitia, who lived at home. One cousin named Hannah was married to an officer who had gone to India, and she had gone to her father's home to await his arrangements, which did not quite depend upon himself. She was then about going out to him. They had been married four years and had no children, had always lived at hotels or in lodgings, for he had been obliged to move about so much with his Regiment, that they had never had a settled home. It was rumoured that they did not lead a very loving life. Yet I never heard anything urged against either him, or her. — He was quite a gentleman, but poor, and had been gone abroad six or nine months at the time I speak of. A letter from him naming the time of her departure to India was expected. The post only then came in about once in three weeks, or less frequently.
Hannah had been fond of me as a girl, but it was not returned by me. I was about five years older than her. She was so thin when young, that she was the subject of all sorts of jokes. We used to call her lanky, mop-sticks, and scraggs; and I could not bear scraggy girls. She continued scraggy till about twenty, when she bloomed in to a new woman, and soon after she was married, fattened into a superb one. It was almost impossible to think she was the scraggs of former days. The male and his sperm agreed with her and had helped, I expect, to cover her bones; but it never swelled her belly.
When Fred and I were about seventeen or eighteen years old, and old enough not to have troubled our-selves about young girls, we played with her the same trick in a hay field that we had done with Fred's sisters when we were boys. "Let's look at mopstick's thighs, I wonder if she has any hair on her cunt," said he one day. She was rather too old for such an attempt, but it was successful. We pelted each other with hay, Fred held her down and covered her head, and I lifted her petticoats whilst she was struggling. Fred in his turn pulled her out from under the hay exposing her thighs, and we both saw her cunt for a moment only. It was hairless. The girl fancied some trick had been played on her, for she got up in a temper, stood colouring scarlet, looking first at me and then at Fred in a peculiar way, and tears came into her eyes. We were suspected, evidently. "Come along Hannah," I said. "Shan't," said she pouting, "I'll go to Mamma," and off she went. "I think mopsticks smells a rat," said Fred, and we were rather uneasy about it, but suppose the girl never did say anything.
I only saw Hannah once or twice a year as she grew older, and never without thinking of her skeleton legs, so watched her fattening in after years with much interest. Fred used to say her bum-cheeks were not bigger than apple dumplings; I had not seen her for a couple of years, at the time I tell of, and was delighted with her altered appearance. Yet, still I recalled to mind the long hairless slit between the two broom-stick thighs, and wondered how the apparatus and its surroundings looked now. We were thrown together daily and nearly all day; she still called me Walter, and I called her Hannah, tho I heard her husband did not approve of it. Neither did my aunt who used to say that it would be better to address each other as Mr. and Mrs.
My uncle spent most of his time in field-sports, he was much liked and invited to fishings and shootings far and near. When I had been there three days, off he went on a visit, taking his guns and rods, and his unmarried daughter with him, leaving me to stop as long as I liked at ''K . My aunt and I, cousin Hannah, were then alone. So Hannah was much more with me than before, but I did not take much notice of her until I got lewed. Then gradually my lust came on strong, and I resolved to go to D**l**g**n and get a woman. We were about two miles from town.
My uncle's house was at the end of a quiet village. It had a ground and one storey above, only; and kitchens on the ground floor, separated from the other part by a lobby, shut off by a door. Like other gentle-men's houses of that class which were old built, it stood in beautiful grounds. When my prick began to irritate me, a lewed pleasure came to me in looking at Hannah, and thinking it was months since her quim had had a stiff one up it. In a delicate way I alluded to her being a half widow, and I a half widower. — "Don't you feel dull when you get to bed," said I. "Don't you," said she, and we both laughed. The joking was never more direct than that, but I was sure it had occurred to her that I meant to say "You have nobody to fuck you, Hannah." I never however dreamed of trying to have her, for as often said, I esteemed it disgraceful for a man not to respect his own family, and I objected always, on principle, to interfering with other men's wives, tho unfortunately I have been seduced into breaking this rule.
There was a good deal of difficulty in getting at the servants of the house, four in number. The cook was the wife of the coachman and looked closely after the other three, who were nice, fresh-coloured bitches; and seeing no chance there, I intended to have a free lady at the town of D* * *n. I should add that there were no men servants kept in the house. The parlor maid seemed to be always looking at me, and I had kissed her on a former visit, had even given a poke with my finger below her waist, but nothing more; and she now looked at me severely.
We went to a small ball, which my uncle and other cousin had not accepted. Hannah's white shoulders and breasts enticed me. I waltzed with her, the smell of her flesh upset me. "What a shame we can't kiss each other, as we used," said I, when waltzing. "So it is," said she, laughing, "for we are cousins and there would be no harm, but people might make mischief." After supper I danced again with her. "I can scarcely keep my lips from your shoulders," I said. "Be careful, don't hold me so close." My prick was stiff, and I had pleasure in the idea of its being close up against her. She would dance with me no more that night. Her mother had whispered to her not to do so. — In the carriage going home, I rejoiced in the warmth of her limbs against mine, moving them gently up against her — as I thought without her noticing my little game — and I rested my hand on her knee whilst talking as if without intention, and so on, indulging in voluptuous feelings which touching a pretty woman always gave me, and thinking about her cunt, till my prick was well nigh bursting.
The next day, a man called on us who invited me to sup with him at *** and I accepted meaning to have a woman there. After luncheon, I went with my aunt and cousin to the town of D* * * *n shopping. The carriage was an open one. It was a nice autumnal afternoon and I sat opposite them, my right leg against Hannah's. I'll swear she was as lewed as I was, for the music, dancing, and champagne over night had excited her, and perhaps also my contact with her, for I was in an awful state of lust anticipating an evening's fucking.
My aunt's purchases just filled the spare seat by the side of me, and I moved to make room for them quite opposite to my cousin, and then her legs were closer to mine. Aunt then bought at a linen-drapers some flimsy, light article of large size, "Put it in the carriage," said she to the draper; and to me, "It won't annoy you, it's so light." It hid our legs, and we went home, I indulging in the warmth of Hannah's against mine, which I closed delicately on hers. Hannah was very gay and laughed at every thing I said, till aunty wondered what she saw to laugh at so much. The pressure of my limbs against hers made her, I believe, half hysterical with want of fucking.
We had dinner, and my aunt went out directly after-wards to see a friend close by who was very ill, and she took a servant to escort her. — I prepared to go out to ***. Hannah went to the drawing room, and sat on the sofa doing fancy work. It grew twilight. — "I'm going out," said I, "to D***n." "Are you not tired? I am, quite hot, quite feverish," said she. She looked so nice, that I put down my hat and sat besides her on the sofa talking with her. A slight autumnal gust rose and it grew chilly: I got close to her. She laid down her work. "Let us kiss," said I, "for we are cousins," and I put my arm round her waist and kissed her. She gave me one without any hesitation in return, and then I took a dozen. "I don't know what Charley would say if he knew it," said she. "Neither of us will tell him," I replied and I pulled her to me, and kissed again and again. "Oh, don't," said she, giving herself up to it tho, and letting me kiss, and giving me even some in return, but saying, "Don't now, we mustn't."
Then lewedness made me forget all in a desire to talk to her of baudy things. As far as I recollect the having her body had not even then entered my mind, but I thought of what I had seen in the hayfield, and longed to tell her. I felt on dangerous ground, was nervous, but the desire was irresistible. — Putting one hand on to her thigh gently outside her clothes, "What a difference," said I, "there is between your thighs now, and when I saw them eleven years ago; they are three times as large."
"What?" said she, laughing in an astonished way. "What? How do you know about the size of my legs? Do you know what you are saying?" I cuddled up to her, I pulled her to me, and whilst she kept saying at intervals, "Oh, what a shame," — I told her in a whisper the story. I used no strong words, tho what I said was quite unmistakeable. I am master of that kind of language, and she knew I had seen all. — "Your thighs were not bigger than your calves now are, and Fred said — shall I tell you" "Yes." "Don't be offended then." "No." Then I told her. "Oh, what a couple of black-guards! I knew you were up to some-thing, I have often thought of it since; it's disgraceful, and you have no business now to tell me anything about it," said she, with a sort of temper. The fog had thickened, the room was darkish, all was as silent as the grave. A desire to feel her cunt, to fuck her — a passionate desire to do so seized me suddenly. I thought not of who she was and who I was — my prick was stiff and throbbing. I pulled her to me and we kissed and kissed. "Oh, I can't breathe — leave off, Walt," said she in a soft voice. "Let me love, — let us — who will know — let's do it," said I, pressing her thighs, slipping my hand down towards her knee. "Oh, don't — oh, don't." — A stoop, a lift, and my hand was on her naked thighs. She made a sudden at-tempt to push her clothes down, but it was too late, and struggled no more. — Her thighs were closed; I pushed my fingers thru the hair, they felt the soft clitoris, — then all is nearly confusion. I fingered away at it, that soft enticing rub, I kissed her, she kissed me, her head lay on my shoulder, she lay half slanting on the sofa, my left arm round her; I with-drew my hand from cunt for an instant, and pulled out my prick. — Seizing her hand, I put it round it, and my right hand resumed its place on her clitoris. "Oh, don't — oh, Walter dear — no — don't," she murmured. I stopped her utterances with kisses, licking her lips, shoving my tongue into her mouth, laid her down into the sofa, lifted her legs on to it without resistance, and threw myself on to her. Her thighs opened wide for me, and in a minute Hannah and I were spending, in a family fuck. We had committed adultery without meaning it. A randier cock and cunt, both bursting with sperm and fucking essences, never joined together; they were near to each other and could not help fucking — neither of us was to blame for that consanguineous embrace. "Get up — oh, if the servants." I was still up her smoothing her bum with my hands, kissing and tonguing her still, almost bewildered myself, and wondering where I was, so blissfully unexpected the affair had been. I uncunted and we sat on the sofa together. "Oh, if we should have been seen," said she. — I had no fear. No one could be in the garden (the windows opening on to the lawn were however open), and the only possibility was one of the servants having come in whilst I was up her. But that was improbable; one was out with Aunt; the cook always went to her husband's rooms after dinner; the only one likely to come in was the parlor maid, — and she never came into the drawing-room after dinner till tea, or light, were rung for. I stole thru the big silent hall, opened one of the doors between the lobby leading to the kitchens quietly and listened. Two servants were talking to each other. Re-turning, I told Hannah, but she started all sorts of fears. "It's dark nearly. What will they think of our being here without lights? Oh, if they tell mamma. She is a little afraid of you Walt, and tells me to be cautious about you." Much of that sort was said, all in a low tone.
We kissed and thought out a ruse. It was no time to think much, for Aunt might return at any minute. Softly I left the room, put my hat and stick on the hall table, went to my bed-room, took a pillow from the bed, put it under my head, and laid down on the sofa.
When Hannah had given me time to do this, she rang the drawing-room bell. The servant came. "What time is it?" "Half-past eight, Ma'am." "How cold it is, shut the window, I've been fast asleep. Get tea, and lights, at once." The servant shut the window and brought lights. "Did Mr.*** say when he should come home?" "He won't to tea. Only make tea for me. I dare say Mamma will have hers out." "I don't think Mr. * * * is out, Ma'am, his hat is in the hall. "He went out directly after dinner." "No, his hat is there." "Go up and see if he is in his bed-room." Up came the servant — knock, knock — knock again. "Ulloh come in," said I, in a sleepy tone. Mrs. * * * wants to know if you would like tea, sir? She did not know you were within." "Say yes. I have been asleep."
I waited up stairs till I heard the servant go towards the drawing room with the tea, then I went down — and Hannah and I laughed at each other before the servant, for falling asleep. — "I thought you were going to ***," said she. The servant heard it all. "I shan't go out now," I said. — "I'll put on my slippers," and so saying went to my bed room. As I did so, something made me feel sure that Hannah would go to her bedroom, to feel her cunt, or wipe, or wash it, or piddle, or do something with it; and my bed room was just round the corner and not thirty feet from hers.
I was right. Up she came, I saw her form in the dim light (she had no candle) at the door of her room. With-out shoes, and quietly as a mouse, I moved towards her door. — "Oh, for God's sake, don't," she whispered, "what folly!" But I pushed her into her room, and closed the door. — "Let's do it again." "No— oh, if we should be found out, its madness." — But eagerly I pushed her onto the side of the bed, tilting up her thighs, I kissed her cunt, one rapturous kiss — which left my own sperm on my nose and lips. — Then driving my prick up her, we fucked again at the bed side. What a lovely fuck it was, how I stuck to her, holding up her thighs, closing my belly on to hers, puffing her to me by her thighs. Squeezing my balls home, and covering her bum with them when I had long done spending. It seems but yesterday that it happened, and my prick stiffens with sympathy as I write this.
Then I went cautiously to the drawing room and she soon followed. We kept up the deceit. How little the maid knew of my prick sticking to my shirt, and the use Hannah had made of her cunt. We drank tea, I read, and Hannah worked as if we were brother and sister. The parlor maid, a demure young woman with fat rosy cheeks and lightish brown hair, handed toast. Before long that servant was to have her turn of grinding.
When the maid left the room I told Hannah I meant to sleep with her. — "You're mad," said she. "Why Mamma's room is next but one to mine." But I talked my baudiest — of the delight of being naked belly to belly, of feeling and seeing, as well as fucking. I talked her lewed and met every objection she made. — If I were caught in the lobby I would say I was going to the watercloset — but who could catch me. Her mother would not — the servants were away in their own quarter, her father (my uncle), and her sister away, and no one else in the house. We should never have the chance again, so persisting, shewing her my prick, feeling her thighs, talking baudy till she said I was a beast and then laughed at my talk. She agreed to let me, but she was nervous. — "Oh — go — go to your room, — if you keep talking like that, mother will see there is something wrong with me when she comes home, for I feel so upset." — So I left her with a randy cunt, and she was to say I had gone early to bed tired.
Aunt came back soon after I had got to my room, she was tired and took hot gin and water before going to bed. I was in a fever of agitation, listened, heard Hannah leave her mother's room, — waited the time arranged, then stealthily with naked feet, walked to Hannah's chamber. — I listened as I passed aunt's room and heard her snore. — Hannah's door was fastened, I gently rattled the handle, the door opened. "For God sake go away," — whispered Hannah. She was in the dark, I entered and closed the door. "Oh, don't, and do go," said she. But I had not come to leave, and groping for the matches lighted a candle, dropped my dressing gown, stood naked and stiff pricked. — Then quietly she sank on the bed, I threw up her night gown, — saw a delicious dark haired cunt, and buried my prick in it in a jiffy. Then for three hours, all the luscious lascivious work I could think of I tried with her, sucked her bubbies, sucked her mouth, and leaving a towel in a tell tale mess stole back to bed. When I awoke I had a strange mixture of sensations. The prominent one was regret at having committed adultery, and above all with my cousin. I wondered how it had all come about, was clear that I never contemplated it, and certain that she never gave me the least encouragement. I can swear to the truth of that. Had I never seen her thighs when she was "scraggy" perhaps it never would have happened, but who knows. — A randy prick with ten days accumulation of sperm in it, a cunt which for months had never been probed by a male, or had felt the delight of the hot gush of sperm from a stiff prick, were both together in a half dark room, on a large sofa, after a good dinner; — and who knows what might have come off, even had I not told her of her long thighs and hairless slit. Thinking of all this I went down to breakfast.
Luck as usual (how marvellously I have succeeded without being trapped hitherto), was mine. — My aunt had taken cold and was obliged to keep her room. Hannah came down to breakfast with fatigued eyes. She had not slept and was full of fears. — "What are you staring at me so for, Walter?" — I could not keep my eyes off of her — I allayed her fears. — "Wait to see if you are in the family way my love, you never have been yet — and don't be stupid. Who possibly can know I was in your room?" Then I talked of our lascivious amusements till she blushed like a rose. She wished I had never come on the visit. Then I made love to her, and standing up with a bit of buttered toast in one hand, pulled out my prick with the other. Prick stiff, and handsome with its randy redness on it. — "Oh, for God sake don't." said she rising in haste, and going in front of me so as to hide it, I sup-pose for fear of the gardeners seeing. — "Oh, if any one is on the lawn. If Bates should come in, — oh, for God sake don't do that, Walter."
I knew that the gardeners were never on the lawn until the family was out of the house, or before they were up, that the maid never came in until rung for; but I buttoned up my prick and said we would do it as soon as I had finished breakfast. It was delightful to be suggesting copulation to the charming woman. — "That you shan't." "That I will." "That you shan't." "Don't you want it?" "No." "Yes you do." — So I talked on at the same time hurrying thru with my breakfast for I was in rut. When she was finished I pulled out my machine again, flourishing it before her, and pulled backwards and forwards the prepuce. — So excitedly glancing at the windows — then at the door — then all round, as if some one might see us thru the walls — and praying me to desist. — Then rising, "You must be mad, I must go to Mamma," and she moved towards the door. — I caught hold of her, put my hands up her petticoats on to her bum. She turned round, I pushed her up against the door, got my hand on her cunt, kissing and shoving my tongue into her mouth in which was still the flavour of toast and tea.
Then was a quiet struggle. — Baudy incitements from me, prayers and entreaties all in whispers from her. — "My God, don't. If Bates should come in." I was resolute — dropped on my knees, butted my head up her petticoats, buried my mouth between her thighs, clasped her fat bum. The smell of her quim made me reckless. — I passed my tongue over and bit at her clitoris, my nose buried in the hairy fleece. Why I favoured her with this salacious incitement I don't know. Then getting up when her lust was on her, I fucked her against the door, or just by the side of it.
— I don't recollect which.
Standing still lusciously tranquil, prick and cunt joined in their spermy slobber — we heard a bell ring,
— down dropped her petticoats, out came my prick, down we both sat. She by the tea things, I facing the window. "It's Mamma's bell," said she, "and the lobby door must be open." — Her face was blood red, then white with agitation. I buttoned up my trowsers wrongly, and had not yet adjusted my clothes, when the maid came in and said my aunt wished to see Hannah. Off she went, and I went up hypocritically to ask how aunt was. Later on when up I went into her bedroom — "I'd better go away," said I, "for you are unwell and I am in the way." "You had better stay another day, your uncle will be back then." — She would not have asked me had she known the state of Hannah's cunt at that moment.
I went down to the dining room where Bates was clearing away breakfast and thought I would like to have her. — When I once have my rutting fury on I can think of nothing but cunt, and even when for the time used up by copulation, — Cunt, — Cunt, — is all I think of. — Every woman I pass in the street, I wonder what sort of a cunt she has, large or small, brown haired or black, much hair or little. — Has it been fucked or is it virgin. — I am mad about cunt — and this lasts usually two or three days till I am completely fucked out. — The abstinence from women for ten days, and the excitement of the last two days, had put me into this state; so directly I saw Bates alone, I thought of her cunt — and how to get into it.
"It's a long time since I gave you a kiss," said I — Her demure face broke into a smile and she looked all round the room. — "Mrs. Fitzgerald will hear you," said she (it was my cousin's name), I gave her rosy lips a kiss, and pinched her bum, making some impudent remark. She scuffled but I got her to kiss me, and for a few minutes, this game was carried on. — The bum pinching upset her most. — "Oh, law, don't. You'll make me lose my place, if any one's come in. Oh, if she be coming down, — oh, don't you hurt." "I'll pinch it in front then." Whereon she opened the door wide. I walked into the garden smoking a cigar, for I fancied I heard Hannah coming; but I saw plainly that I might have much fun, if not fucking, with Bates demure as she looked, and even tho she was going to be married.
Bates had been a long time in my aunt's service. When I had seen her before, I kissed her — but was not encouraged to proceed further; and two years had elapsed since then. My aunt had remarked that she was engaged to be married, — that and her demure look, and the difficulties in the way, made me dismiss all idea of getting into her — and had I not had my rutting fever on, dare say should never have attempted it. Now I was in my reckless mood and, having kissed and bum pinched, saw she was not annoyed but only timid. In the dining room I whispered, as she laid luncheon cloth, that I meant to sleep with her. — "I mean to see what color it is," said I, — at which she looked funny but very serious, and eyed me a long time without making any reply.
At every opportunity — and I made many during the day, Hannah being so much with her mother, — I at-tacked her. When she opened the door I kissed her. — She was sent to me to a summer house (oh those summer houses, how often I have tailed women in them of which I shall have to tell more) — to say my aunt would be glad to see me. There I told Bates I had hurt my fingers against her bum, and was sure she was softer in front, and made fucking signs with my fingers. — Whilst Hannah, with her dark haired cunt, was opposite to me at dinner, I was wondering what sort of quim the maid had and was taken with a furious letch for the wench— and saw that every thing tended to giving me a chance with her.
Hannah refused to let me into her room that night and I had to content myself with a grope. I went out in the afternoon — and came back to dinner. We dined later than usual and it was dark. There was a carriage drive up to the house — tho no lodge. I had rung the bell, and was waiting under the porch to be let in, when I thought I saw a paper on a garden bed, and stepped back to pick it up. Bates opened the door and not seeing anyone, stepped into the porch to look, and the wind slammed the hall door to just as she saw it was me. — "I'll go round to the kitchen entrance," said she, "and get it open for you, sir." I saw my opportunity — caught her — kissed her — talked baudiness, and edging her up against the porch whilst kissing her, got my hand on to her cunt. 'Your cunt's nice — let me fuck it and I'll give you a lovely new dress." — She struggled but fear made her speak in a whisper. "For God sake, don't — you'll make me lose my place and my character — oh if the ladies know I'm here. Oh, do let me go — what will they think in the kitchen? — I'll scream." — But she did not. —"Oh, I will meet you on Sunday night as you asked me, if you leave off." "I will indeed." "Leave off then, you shan't." "And let me fuck you?" I asked. "Oh no — no," said she answering in her worry. I let her go, she ran round to the servants' gate, got in that way and coming to the hall door again, let me in. I put my fingers to my nose and said, "How lovely it smells, Becky." — I was fond of saying that to women whom I had felt.
She waited at dinner, but instead of looking bashful, looked defiant and stolid, pinched her lips together, and kept staring at me. Several times when she was standing at the back of Hannah's chair, I put my finger to my nose in a careless manner, and then she coloured up, and I saw was on the point of smiling. Thought I — I'll shew you my prick at the first opportunity.
— Dinner over, Hannah said she must sit all the evening with her mother, — I went out to * * * and played billiards. When I came back, Bates opened the door.
— "Where is Mrs. Fitzgerald?" "Up with mistress," she replied. Out I pulled my prick which had stiffened before the door was opened. — "I'll put it into you on Sunday night," said I in a whisper. "You're a beast," said she. — Never had I made more progress with a woman of her class in so short time. — Nothing but my heat would have made me so reckless — for tho I now see that extreme impudence in these matters tells the best, I have been often unable to act on that belief at first — and was even astonished now at myself.
Hannah came to say good night. — She had scarcely slept for two nights, and would not let me into her room again, — no, never — she was in mortal fear and looked ill, but before she retired I pushed her against the door and fucked her. — Her great fear was of being in the family way, — "and oh if that Bates should have heard us." If she fancied any thing she would tell her mother, who had such confidence in her, she having been in her service since a girl.
Aunt did not get better. Hannah the next day would not let me have her, but let me pull up her clothes, and see and kiss her lovely thighs at breakfast and lunch-eon. This got her lust up — for she promised if I would never ask her again, to let me into her room provided I left "directly you have done it." — "I've had horrid dreams and a persentiment that we shall be caught." — I promised of course — but made baudy signs to the maid whenever I got the chance. A new dress and bon-net were hers — I said — if she would let me, she knew what. — "No she didn't," she replied. How wonder-fully like one adventure with a woman is to another, yet every one at the time, seem to me so fresh.
I began to care more about having Bates than Hannah, because of the difficulty of getting her I suppose — "Let me fuck you." "You're a beast," was said several times in the day. — When I came in at night, I caught hold of her clothes just outside her cunt, and repeated all in a whisper, "Will you meet me on Sun-day night?" "Yes at seven o'clock if you won't annoy me any more." — I had some grog, — Hannah came down from aunt's room. — Bates brought in hot water and sugar, and she looked as modest as the Virgin prayers — but both women had heard the word fuck, a few minutes before, and I doubt not both cunts were reeking with the lewedness I had evoked.
Hannah implored me not to go to her room. —"Here then against the door," because if any one came in we could have hidden our doings — but she would not, and at night the house was too quiet to force her. -- "I'm sure something will happen," said she, "and if I'm found out I'll kill myself." I laughed at that, having heard it before — and said that even in her room and some one came to it, I could easily get under the bed, — and I told her of one of my escapes — and what she should do, and what I would do in that case, little thinking what was to follow.
Later on I went cautiously from my room, peeped round the corner, and saw Hannah leave aunt's room. — She saw me and made an imploring gesture of don't come — but a stiff prick would, and after listening at aunt's door and being sorry to hear this time no snoring, I went to Hannah's, the door of which was open.
"Make haste and go away," said she. "I am so frightened." — I was voluptuous with her and insisted on a light. — I was naked, kneeling between her legs, I had kissed her cunt and fingered it. (How well I recollect her large round thighs, and playing with her cunt and with lascivious tricks, delaying the fuck.) Then I was buried deep up her, the warm, smooth, juicy clip of her cunt was round my prick, her hands clasped my bum, mine gripped her smooth buttocks. Our tongues were joined and, fucking hard, we were half way to the ecstatic spend, when a voice feebly crying outside our door — "Hannah — Hannah," came to our ears.
Hannah threw up her arms, and saying, "My God," they fell flat by her side. — In my excitement I for the moment was confused, but recovering myself, felt our danger and uncunted, and still half laying on her thighs listened. "Hannah — Hannah dear — I'm so ill and can't make Bates hear," and the handle of the door rattled. "My God," said Hannah again in a whisper, and throwing up her arms again. "Hold your tongue, sham being asleep." Seizing my dressing gown I blew out the light, and got under the bed. — Hannah came to her senses — let her mother try the handle of the door again and again. — Then called out, "What is it?" and in a sleepy manner opened the door. — "My dear I'm so ill and the servants' bell rope broke. Call Bates, and get me hot water." — Then her mother, who had no light, went back to her bed room and Hannah followed her, shutting the door. I gained my room unseen and waited events, peeping out at times from my door ajar.
Hannah in her night gown came past my room to go to the servants, saying as she passed, "Mother's ill, take care." — I came out soon after as if awakened by noise, as I saw Bates appear. — "What's the matter?" said I. "Mrs. is ill," said she, and went on to aunt's bed room. How it reminded me of a similar event in my youth when my mother was taken ill, — and the way I was nearly caught in the nursemaid's room at my aunt's in H***f***shire; and thus I sat in my night clothes in my room thinking of those two escapes, and feeling my prick, which was stiff and disappointed at not having completed its exercise in Hannah's vulva.